Sunday, February 3, 2019

Endurance (sounds so excessive when used in a sentence to describe living)

I think I’m dying every day and every day I’m fine            I’m frightened of the noises in the night / scared of my own shadow    


I am highly educated if I stopped comparing myself to every other woman I would

have the wherewithal to do something with those degrees rather than stare at them while drinking a martini

fuck you

fuck me please

I hate you and I hate this roof / these shackles / these binding terms

but I love you so - don’t ever leave me!      I have separation anxiety

has never healed in me since

I was a child

and you / my caretaker / my protector       I deserve nothing / I am nothing

yet I want everything - all of it

I take from this life                 but what is the give back       am I even supposed to give back?

where are our kids / our veins that we have cut and stitched

and cut and stitched again to make it right?

redefine a bloodline here and there when necessary / do what we can to stay together when the priest mentioned two-thirds of marriages end in divorce and for that pure moment we feel ‘special’   --   in with the one-third --

later I want to strangle you

but it’s all in a day’s work      the tears - those crappy tears

……at least you can cry you say……

--Donna Dallas

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