Sunday, February 3, 2019

Endurance (sounds so excessive when used in a sentence to describe living)

I think I’m dying every day and every day I’m fine            I’m frightened of the noises in the night / scared of my own shadow    



--whatever-- 



I am highly educated if I stopped comparing myself to every other woman I would



have the wherewithal to do something with those degrees rather than stare at them while drinking a martini



fuck you



fuck me please



I hate you and I hate this roof / these shackles / these binding terms



but I love you so - don’t ever leave me!      I have separation anxiety



has never healed in me since



I was a child



and you / my caretaker / my protector       I deserve nothing / I am nothing



yet I want everything - all of it



I take from this life                 but what is the give back       am I even supposed to give back?



where are our kids / our veins that we have cut and stitched



and cut and stitched again to make it right?



redefine a bloodline here and there when necessary / do what we can to stay together when the priest mentioned two-thirds of marriages end in divorce and for that pure moment we feel ‘special’   --   in with the one-third --



later I want to strangle you



but it’s all in a day’s work      the tears - those crappy tears



……at least you can cry you say……


--Donna Dallas

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